The next fastest train
At Birmingham’s refurbished New Street railway station, there is a screen which displays the next fastest train to various destinations.
“The next fastest train.” What does that mean?
Presumably, it is not intended to mean, “the second fastest train”.
So why isn’t the screen just labelled “Next fast train”?
On the west side of the station, near the main taxi rank, Network Rail provided a “Dog Spend”. It turns out that “Dog Spend” is Network Railspeak for a canine toilet.
As well as bizarre and bombastic terms such as “Dog Spend”, “conditional outputs”, and “High Level Output Specification”, Network Railspeak also features the use of the word “route” to denote a geographical operating area. In other words, a Network Rail “route” is what most other railway administrations would call a ‘region’.